Life · Quaffing

On Nova Scotian bubbles, mature Friulano, and aged Californian Chardonnay

Posted on by Josh

It’s an odd feeling – I’ve spent a decent spoonful of my adult life working outside of Canada, enough that I have to think twice about which boxes and lines I have to fill out on forms. Also very real: living through the lengthy process of waiting at the DMV, and wondering whether I should list my height in centimetres to throw the workers off, only to realize that it’s probably best not to potentially risk going back to the end of the line. Can Fahrenheit not?

Wine availability, politics, and markets are markedly different in Vancouver compared to San Francisco, and keeping my nose close to both is a bit of a challenge, especially with the constantly evolving wine scene in Canada.… read more

Tasting

God damn it, Riesling.

Posted on by Josh

If Tyra banks were a Riesling (spoiler alert: she probably is, but like a Californian one or something), she – and I, for that matter – would be yelling at wine consumers à la Top Model cycle 4’s Tiffany. Alas. We coerced the masses to join the Church of Riesling and tried to convince the world that it was everyone’s undiscovered main bae: I did my best to promote the versatile berry, including the times I poured the gamut down the throats of university students during multiple hilarious post-secondary stints, or the time I shared some with a friend out of a thermos in the library while studying mathematical proofs. I’ve often dubbed Riesling a Millennial gateway grape (I’m talking about you, Sean) since it’s famed for occasionally having a sweeter personality, but maybe I should stop this persuasion before Riesling becomes the next to blame for our spending habits after avocados and rompers.… read more

Tasting

Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri 2017: On Prosecco, Italy’s power bottom

Posted on by Josh

I have no real desire to flesh out this (very real) analogy to fruition, but should it end up inadvertently educating you, my job here is done!

I have even less desire to write another several paragraphs about how much I think people should ditch the tank method Italian sparkling for something yeastier and Maillard-esque. Sorry, guys: sometimes Prosecco is exactly what you need when you’re recording a drag podcast at 11AM on a Monday with your friend who’s in Barcelona (his clock: 8PM). Stop telling me to ditch pears for dough, and soft padding for the sting of overinflated volleyballs. Which were never passed to me in high school gym class, anyways.

It’s obvious that the suited sommeliers don’t flock to bottles of Prosecco at events like San Francisco’s Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri tasting, and instead, place all focus on Italy’s rightly famed reds.… read more

Tasting

If Austrian wines could soothe sunburns

Posted on by Josh

When you plan a brunch date that unexpectedly turns into a day at the beach and a breathtakingly kaleidoscopic art show. If there were a handful of wines that could pair with the sun and simultaneously be soothing enough to cure slow-forming sunburns on one’s bald head, Austria’s take on Sauvignon Blanc would be one of them. C’mon, sunscreen!

I forgot Austria did Sauvignon Blanc. Master Sommelier Matt Stamp describes the style of having a mint-like character throughout; the Wine Grapes tome states that the best producers “typically combine the refreshment of Sancerre with the creaminess of a rich white burgundy”; Oz Clarke’s Grapes & Wines describe the style as having “classic nettly, blackcurrant-leaves fruit, while from the Sudsteiermark region come Sauvignon Blanc wines that are “restrained, understated, often excellent”.… read more

Tasting

A swooner for Grüner

Posted on by Josh

Picture a terrible ear infection, whose arduous journey towards remedy and eventual demise is almost immediately followed by a fucked up ankle on the same side of the body, condensing some of the worst parts of childhood and the least sexy parts of 2015’s Europe trip in one go. God damn it, body. If this is biology’s way of saying calm down, I refuse to listen. These are the thoughts I have after dripping two sets of medicine in my right ear and heading to work early so that I can comically hobble my way to The Progress, where an Austria-themed masterclass hosted by GuildSomm and Master Sommelier Matt Stamp awaits. Of course, one half of my head can’t hear anything, but we’re doing fine as long as my nose and mouth aren’t fucked up.… read more

Tasting

Zweigelts and Blau-jobs

Posted on by Josh

TFW you’re at work on a Saturday evening and continue with some extra writing because you’re motivated during stupid hours of the night, only to be invited out to an event starting at 2:30AM on the night we jump forward for the wretched anti-event of Daylight Saving Time. The next day brought about a cornucopia of beers, jello shots, wine, wine, hot tubs, wine, vodka, and musical numbers. My level of verve is that of a flowery warm-climate Viognier lazily draped on a tongue-shaped couch, unlike Austria’s zesty Zwiegelt and Blaufränkisch, both who have demanding spirits that seem like they’re trying to convince you to like them. C’mon, energy!

I haven’t had much Zweigelt, Austria’s most widely planted grape and lovechild of Blaufränkisch and Saint Laurent – the only ones that come to mind are Canada’s attempts.… read more

Tasting

Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri 2017: Orvieto, the filler queen of Umbria

Posted on by Josh

Spring is upon us, fellow wine humans! You know what that means: it’s time to pretend that the invisible curtain that’s been draped over every wine, coloured white and rosé – existing only to shame anyone who decided to drink anything but a red mouth flannel during the cold season – has been lifted. Prepare your eyeholes for barrages of “12 wines to pair with Sheila’s garden party” and “You Won’t Believe This Pinot Grigio I Just Tried”. (Please still invite me, Sheila.)

Orvieto, hailing from Italy’s Umbria, seems like that forgettable friend you kind of knew but lost all contact with once you entered high school, eclipsed by the region’s demandingly gruff red superstar, Sagrantino. Considering that my only memorable experience of a white Orvieto back home in Canada (and “memorable” is a generous word, here) was a vaguely melon-scented bottle that did nothing but provide a lukewarm impression on my tongue, I was drawn to the offerings at San Francisco’s 2017 Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri tasting. … read more

Tasting

28 bottles of Nebbiolo to warm your lonely frigid heart on Valentine’s Day

Posted on by Josh

For 2013’s Valentine’s Day, my 20-year-old collegiate self suggested Gewurztraminer to pair with Chinese takeout and Adele; Muscadet to pair with tears and oysters; French rosé to pair with loneliness; and Asti for guilty pleasures. I might be suggesting Nebbiolo this time around, but let it be known that I’m still as happily unkempt as the last of those 2013 pairings. Good job, past self. My university persona regrets almost nothing: maybe one moment involving that necklace MacGyvered from a nondescript sabred sparkling wine cork, some wire, and two mismatching chains. I wore this everywhere for a good chunk of time. Alas.

Amongst what I would expect are the inevitable and seasonal release of tedious yet informative wine-and-chocolate-pairing articles (We get it!… read more

Quaffing

Pairing fumes with Italy’s Fumin

Posted on by Josh

No – I didn’t misspell “Furmint”, Hungary’s distictive superstar producing fierce white wines. Fumin is missing Furmint’s “T” and “R” – and trust me – many of us would gladly remove the “U” and “M” and be left with “FIN”. And we all know there has purportedly been too much “P” to remove.

Like major historic and tumultuous events that get recorded in textbooks but that people now choose to ignore, Italy’s Valle d’Aosta is a region that always seems like a brief whisper of an afterthought in most wine reference books I’ve read, and a region which has its indigenous Fumin, a black grape with the potential to create cherry-scented, dark-fruited, and muscly wines that are sometimes added to blends for colour and brawn. … read more

Life · Quaffing · Tasting

2016 was questionable, so here are 20 wines to pair with 2017

Posted on by Josh

I ended a past blog post – themed: a review of 2015 – with the words “Welcome, 2016. I will cut you.” Though I feel like I did personally make some substantial dents in this crunchy titanium can of a year, the general consensus seems to be that we created a blueprint for goodness, but then said blueprint was stolen, lit on fire, and then puréed with an unwashed beige-coloured towel embroidered with the words “~fUcK yOu~”, styled in Comic Sans MS.

I won’t fill this post with hopes for 2017 so that I don’t build myself a bigger bowl of disappointment, but instead will list wines that remind me of an upwards trend of hope, a vague connection to the vapid consolation of Pantone’s Color of the Year, a fresh and flora-driven yellow-green named “Greenery“.… read more