Tag: White

Tasting

Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri 2017: On Prosecco, Italy’s power bottom

Posted on by Josh

I have no real desire to flesh out this (very real) analogy to fruition, but should it end up inadvertently educating you, my job here is done!

I have even less desire to write another several paragraphs about how much I think people should ditch the tank method Italian sparkling for something yeastier and Maillard-esque. Sorry, guys: sometimes Prosecco is exactly what you need when you’re recording a drag podcast at 11AM on a Monday with your friend who’s in Barcelona (his clock: 8PM). Stop telling me to ditch pears for dough, and soft padding for the sting of overinflated volleyballs. Which were never passed to me in high school gym class, anyways.

It’s obvious that the suited sommeliers don’t flock to bottles of Prosecco at events like San Francisco’s Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri tasting, and instead, place all focus on Italy’s rightly famed reds.… read more

Tasting

If Austrian wines could soothe sunburns

Posted on by Josh

When you plan a brunch date that unexpectedly turns into a day at the beach and a breathtakingly kaleidoscopic art show. If there were a handful of wines that could pair with the sun and simultaneously be soothing enough to cure slow-forming sunburns on one’s bald head, Austria’s take on Sauvignon Blanc would be one of them. C’mon, sunscreen!

I forgot Austria did Sauvignon Blanc. Master Sommelier Matt Stamp describes the style of having a mint-like character throughout; the Wine Grapes tome states that the best producers “typically combine the refreshment of Sancerre with the creaminess of a rich white burgundy”; Oz Clarke’s Grapes & Wines describe the style as having “classic nettly, blackcurrant-leaves fruit, while from the Sudsteiermark region come Sauvignon Blanc wines that are “restrained, understated, often excellent”.… read more

Tasting

A swooner for Grüner

Posted on by Josh

Picture a terrible ear infection, whose arduous journey towards remedy and eventual demise is almost immediately followed by a fucked up ankle on the same side of the body, condensing some of the worst parts of childhood and the least sexy parts of 2015’s Europe trip in one go. God damn it, body. If this is biology’s way of saying calm down, I refuse to listen. These are the thoughts I have after dripping two sets of medicine in my right ear and heading to work early so that I can comically hobble my way to The Progress, where an Austria-themed masterclass hosted by GuildSomm and Master Sommelier Matt Stamp awaits. Of course, one half of my head can’t hear anything, but we’re doing fine as long as my nose and mouth aren’t fucked up.… read more

Tasting

Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri 2017: Orvieto, the filler queen of Umbria

Posted on by Josh

Spring is upon us, fellow wine humans! You know what that means: it’s time to pretend that the invisible curtain that’s been draped over every wine, coloured white and rosé – existing only to shame anyone who decided to drink anything but a red mouth flannel during the cold season – has been lifted. Prepare your eyeholes for barrages of “12 wines to pair with Sheila’s garden party” and “You Won’t Believe This Pinot Grigio I Just Tried”. (Please still invite me, Sheila.)

Orvieto, hailing from Italy’s Umbria, seems like that forgettable friend you kind of knew but lost all contact with once you entered high school, eclipsed by the region’s demandingly gruff red superstar, Sagrantino. Considering that my only memorable experience of a white Orvieto back home in Canada (and “memorable” is a generous word, here) was a vaguely melon-scented bottle that did nothing but provide a lukewarm impression on my tongue, I was drawn to the offerings at San Francisco’s 2017 Gambero Rosso Tre Bicchieri tasting. … read more

Life · Quaffing · Tasting

2016 was questionable, so here are 20 wines to pair with 2017

Posted on by Josh

I ended a past blog post – themed: a review of 2015 – with the words “Welcome, 2016. I will cut you.” Though I feel like I did personally make some substantial dents in this crunchy titanium can of a year, the general consensus seems to be that we created a blueprint for goodness, but then said blueprint was stolen, lit on fire, and then puréed with an unwashed beige-coloured towel embroidered with the words “~fUcK yOu~”, styled in Comic Sans MS.

I won’t fill this post with hopes for 2017 so that I don’t build myself a bigger bowl of disappointment, but instead will list wines that remind me of an upwards trend of hope, a vague connection to the vapid consolation of Pantone’s Color of the Year, a fresh and flora-driven yellow-green named “Greenery“.… read more

Tasting · Travel

Souzãoberry Fields Forever: hang time with Portuguese grapes in Lodi

Posted on by Josh

Of the mad scientist-viticulturist laboratory that is Lodi, California, we’ve touched upon southern French varieties; grapes classically grown in cooler areas of Europe like Germany and Austria; and Lodian odes to Spanish wines. We reached the part of the conference where we would end up on one of twenty-or-so different excursions – and to complete the circle of a trip, or at least extend the semi-circle or whatever – I eventually decided to go on the excursion that hinted at a visit to a winery with a heavy lean towards Portuguese grape varieties.

What the fuck is Souzão, anyways? Let’s whip out a tome and read the following paragraph in our Jancis voices. (She is, by the way, in the running for being my Snatch Game impression if I’m ever on RuPaul’s Drag Race.)… read more

Tasting · Travel

Getting drunk-ish with Bokisch

Posted on by Josh

Upon a first visit to the area, I’m not surprised that Lodi’s land is as flat as my love life oft is, because, perhaps unfairly, I expected the mainstream homeland of Zinfandel to be just that. Zing.

For real, though: we arrive at Bokisch, which from what I remember at the time, had more slopes than I remember in all of Lodi – and then a big oak tree located in the middle of some vineyards that was so prominent that “giant oak” was literally listed in our prepared itinerary, under which we would have a lunch, themed northeastern Spain. Barcelona flashbacks. There may have been a flying wine camera drone but anything could’ve happened at this point.

Like our lunch, the wines of Bokisch focus on Spanish grape varieties – another spellbinding sector of Lodi’s experimental temperament, like the German grape varieties grown in Lodi that we had tried earlier.… read more

Tasting · Travel

My neck, my Bacchus

Posted on by Josh

Most of the wine people I know got into its magical world after tasting some kind of superlative bottle that made them orgasm right into the industry. Like, we get it: you had a teaspoon of 1982 Bordeaux and wept. I literally had canned cranberry sauce with a corner store sandwich just a few weeks ago that was so good that it made me re-evaluate my life, so I guess I understand you.

myneckmyback

As much as I say that Marechal Foch is better as a drag name than it is a wine grape, and that most Canadian Cabernet Sauvignon is best used to remove dead skin off the soles of your feet, I absolutely live for the weird unorthodox shit. After waking up at 4AM to pick Viognier at Michael David winery, we arrive at the Mokelumne Glen vineyard, where 48 different German and Austrian wine grape varieties (clones included in this number) are grown. … read more

Tasting · Travel

Getting Harney in Lodi

Posted on by Josh

After the magic that was Acquiesce (everything’s magic after ingesting wine but the wines were good), our pre-excursion group meandered to the Lizzy James vineyard, sipped some Zin, and then went to Harney Lane winery. I remember how distracted I get in vineyards, simultaneously trying to soak in all the personal stories and vineyard information while trying to find refuge for my naked round head. Sunscreen’s a no-no since it fucks with everyone’s nasal cavity, and so is eucalypt-scented shaving cream, where in specific cases I’ve made people sniff my fresh head at tastings just to make sure I’ve done no sin. I attempted to kneel behind someone’s outrageously large clown hat.

My “I’m actually here!” montage lasted longer during my first year at the WBC, and gets cut off more brusquely every year, but thankfully our welcoming visit at Harney Lane extends the honeymoon phase and we all share some rosé, some unfermented Albariño juice, and then lovely dinner where I catch up with old friends and make some new ones.… read more

Tasting · Travel

The time has come for you to lip-sting for… your… life.

Posted on by Josh

I imagine that the Venn diagram representing the overlapping sets of people who are familiar with Picpoul and people who watch RuPaul’s Drag Race is smaller than those who drink Prosecco and watch the Bachelor, but if you happen to find yourself in the middle of this precious diagram, we need to be best friends immediately. One half of said diagram would be able to tell you that Picpoul is the southern French grape that can release lemony power and body, and therefore purportedly translates to “lip-stinger”; the other half of the diagram would be able to tell you that the premiere to RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars season 2 was amazing.

I did not drink Picpoul that night but instead watched the episode at a bar in the Castro hosted by season 5’s Honey Mahogany.… read more